I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
