Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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