you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
