I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
