Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
