Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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