Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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