Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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