Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
