so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
