I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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