I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
