I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
