i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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