There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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