Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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