Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Quick, to the slutcave!
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
It's just like the Real World with babies
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
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