my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
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I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
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Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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