I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
from now on my penis is your penis
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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