I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
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