windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize
