just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
