How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
