dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
