I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
