i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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