I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
