dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
