quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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