It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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