i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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