dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
