i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize