Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
