I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
