thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
