I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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