do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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