so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
