not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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