I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
