We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
