my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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