I haven't been this sober since birth.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
