this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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