Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
