sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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