Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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