I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
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she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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