You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just invented taco cereal.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize