They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
