His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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