The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
