U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
