Im at strip club and am horny
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize