In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize