I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
