NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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