Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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