You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Randomize
