I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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