is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
