batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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