she looked like the bat from fern gully.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
