Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
