1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
