I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
