Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
