So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
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