I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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